You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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