I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
