He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
