Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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