I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
