What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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