you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
