Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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