When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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