I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
