just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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