I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize