i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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