Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
