i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
