ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
