another moral hangover. fuck.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
