Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
