You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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