you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
