im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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