somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We are two peas in an std pod
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
