im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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