so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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