Quick, to the slutcave!
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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