is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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