i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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