he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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