There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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