You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
