Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
