i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
