I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
zippers are such a cool invention
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
