you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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