She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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