Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
