At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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