He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
