I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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