I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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