Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
how drunk are you?
Several
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
