woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
