Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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