Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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