Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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