if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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