I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
