Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
