just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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