You really coming over, don't trick.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
