he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
