i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
