Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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