I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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