If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
