we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
