he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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