And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
