everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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