Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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